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Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Good Morning, World!

L woke me up at 4:30am (possibly earlier) and I'm a bit cranky still.  That little girl is still awake too, an hour earlier.  One nice thing is that I can hear the birds chirping.  I love to hear their bird calls.  Another nice thing is that the sun isn't up yet, and the sky is white behind the dark mountains.

When I'm cranky, I know I need self care.  I have a friend in mind today.  It is a day that is supposed to be a celebration for her and it doesn't feel that way right now.  I'll be thinking of her throughout the day.

I hate to admit it, but I was intimidated by public transportation yesterday.  I did it.  But, I wasn't excited about it and I was a bit of a sourpuss.  I am sore today from the biking and when I got home, I compulsively ate to de-stress.  I will be gaining all the weight that I lost, if I don't stop soon.  In a way, that's what I'm trying to do.  Very self destructive.

Anyways......I think I need to do public transportation again today, but on the BUS!  J has a Dr.'s appt and I don't want to cancel.  But, 30 minutes on the bus.... sigh....  There and back, too.  Opportunity for learning and growth!  The truth is that I'm tired just thinking about it.

7:15am, drive over to mechanic.  walk home. (maybe bike home).
8:15am, walk to bus
9:00am Dr.'s appt.
10:00am (or earlier) walk to bus
11:00am gymnastics

And then I have an al anon situation.  Al Anon is normally about a 25-30 minute drive.  If I have my car back by then - great!  If not, I don't know how to get there and I'm supposed to babysit.  So, I need to figure that out.  Plus, I REALLY need a meeting.

Today is a new day.  I biked out to Jiffy Lube yesterday and put in a claim.  I did very well and am giving myself props.

I really need to do my back taxes today.  The problem is that I have little to no records and feel like I'm doing them from memory.  I'm worried about that.  But, the banks kept closing my accounts and even Intuit isn't letting me access my information anymore.  My papers are so disorganized.  And for Hubby's, he borrowed money from so many people, it's very difficult to make out how much he made and how much he didn't.  He also has no records.  I know you can estimate, but I'm feeling like I'm doing something illegal by guessing and so keep avoiding filing (which, I guess, is also illegal).  It's also preventing L from getting health insurance. sigh. sigh. sigh.

This is a much less positive post than usual.  I told you that I'm cranky.  Self care. self care. self care.  Oh and we have no money for food.  Well, we have some and will def. make it work. But, all our money is going into this car.  Any more venting stuff I want to get out?  mmmm.  I guess not.

Quote of the Day

Hope for Today
I recalled a story about a man who labored in his garden, plowing, planting, and weeding. The result was a beautiful and bountiful crop. His admiring neighbor commented on what a glorious harvest God had provided. The man replied dryly that she should see the garden when God is the only one doing any of the work. 

This story tells me that I need to want to get well, and then I need to be willing to take some action, to do something differently, before I can make progress in my recovery. My action demonstrates my willingness to be healed, and then God can come in and do the healing.

Slogans for the Day: Let it Begin with Me, One Day at a Time, Progress not Perfection

1.  Bird Calls
2.  Health
3.  A positive attitude
4.  Public transportation
5.  A husband who loves me!!!
6.  And a dog that loves me!!
7. And the sweetest kids around (couldn't stop at 5 today).

Self Care
1.  Stick to nutritional plan, but eat at 600 calories each meal (upper end)
2.  Drink lots of water


  1. Thank you for thinking of me when your day was already rough enough. xoxo