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Monday, August 1, 2016
It feels great to be home again!  Back to my cozy green couch and my huge windows and mountainscape.  Hubby wanted to rearrange the furniture the other day and move the sofa into a different room.  I was emphatic when I said, "No, thank you!"

Every month, we have a new goal for the home.  We want to be ready to move out by June 2017.  That doesn't mean we will move out.  We just want to be prepared.  We also want an organized home and we are far from that goal.  The first month I cleaned up our "mess room"/bedroom.  Whenever clutter built up in another room, I dumped it in the "mess room."  That way, the rest of the house looked nice and orderly, but the mess room was looking pretty darn extreme.  This month was to finish the closets.  We have too many clothes out, half of them we don't like or didn't fit us.  The other task was to organize the kitchen cabinets.  I have found that when I feel chaotic in my personal life, it is reflected throughout my home.  Part of my recovery, involves the reorganization of our home, as well.  The next couple days, I'll probably be finishing July tasks and then I think dining room is next - yay!!!  I am really excited about this one!!

So much happened when away, I'm not sure how to organize it all.  Let's go by day.

Friday - drove to my hometown, time with my mom - breakfast, pool with the kids, Birthday dinner with two of my sister in laws, K and M.  Again, overwhelmed with gratitude.  I have underestimated the value of time with friends.  In my 30's, I think friend time (sans kids) is going to be an area that I emphasize.  I see the value of community........ building it is an area I need to work on.

Saturday - Scattered my grandma's ashes with my mom.  Had a one year memorial with my parents and sister and celebrated my birthday and sis's bday with family.  

There will be much more about my Grandma in the future.  She was a very important person in my life and a very impressive person, overall.  There are so many ways I have striven to be like her.

For today, it is the first and we don't have enough for rent.  I knew this was coming and am surprisingly unfazed.  I know our landlord will be ok with it and I know the money is coming.  I would have been a stress ball, in any other time of my life.  But, today, I know it will be ok!

So, To do list for today
I need to contact our landlord, I need to contact jiffy lube again.  A headlight went out in my car, so I also need to go to the auto parts store and replace that.  I don't think we are doing the nature center today because I have to try to finish the July projects.  We have OT Gym, pool and swim and work.
The quote for today is absolutely what I needed to read.  So many times in my recent life, I  have wished I could start over financially.....

Perhaps many of us have had the thought, at one time and another, "Oh, if I could only run away from all this and start all over again.
We think a fresh beginning would solve everything; that we wouldn't make the same mistakes again, and so we'd have a chance to be happy.
Of course we know this is childish fantasy. The very idea that we can entertain such a notion should make us a little doubtful of our maturity. For we know perfectly well -- admit it or not -- that we'd be taking our troubles with us. We can't run away from ourselves.
Isn't this clear proof that many of our troubles are self-created -- many of our personal agonies self-inflicted?
Today's Reminder
A big step toward maturing is to realize that I cannot change conditions by running away from them. I can only change my point of view about them and their relation to me -- and this can be done only by changing myself.

"Little by little I can change my world -- not by escaping to a new one with the same old me, but by making a new me out of the old one."

I do not respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me; why have I tried to impose my will on those around me? There is only one person I am responsible for, and that is me. There is only one person who can make my life as full as possible -- that, too, is me. 
"Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, on me" . . . In All Our Affairs

I need to work on this one, specifically with my mom.  I try to tell her the "right" way to do things all the time.  Or what she does "wrong."  Poor thing!

On a side note, the wild flock of parrots is outside our home right now.  I hear their squawking and see them chasing each other from tree to tree.

Slogans for Today: One day at at time, Do the next best thing, Let it begin with me, Let go and let God

Gratitude List
1) So glad for Hubby's mental health and for medication that works
2) So glad for my Grandma
3) Grateful for my mom
4) Grateful for feelings of serenity
5) Grateful for hot water and air conditioning.


  1. We have a mess room too. It goes in stages of being organized and being a mess. Right now it's in between. Our room also needs work because we store some tote boxes in there. The first quote is so me. I need to get out of that mentality, but it's so easy for me to go there.

    1. This actually makes me feel a bit more typical (mess room wise). That first quote is me at times too. I love that last line though. "Little by little I can change my world -- not by escaping to a new one with the same old me, but by making a new me out of the old one." So powerful! I, honestly, am not convinced that I've worked through my issues enough to make good new choices now though, either.