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Wednesday, August 24, 2016
My body is tired today.  I'm going to need to be cognizant of that fact, throughout the day.  Lots of water, possibly some tea packets... healthy snacks.

I stayed up late to work on my ad/webinar funnel.  I really want to get that going as soon as possible.  Today I have a full day of work.  This morning, I am going to try to clean and rest (those two things go together so well).  Tomorrow is J's birthday.  We are having a casual play date party with three of her and my good friends.  I have learned so much.  I have had the opportunity to invite at least 3 more families and purposefully chose not to mention it.  These women don't care if my house is messy, they don't care if it's a fancy party and J has known their kids since she was 6 months old.  They are actually HER friends.  The other parents are more MY friends.  Julianne has only played with their kids a few times.  Plus, our place is not large and everyone has two kids.  If I add more people, it will be too crazy and J won't enjoy it as much.

Contrast this to when I threw a babyshower for a friend and had over 20 adult guests (not counting the kids).  I've learned much.  This is for J, not to impress people.  That being said, I am making it party ish.  I am hanging balloon rockets across the living room, will have some party food and party games.  We will decorate a pinata and then destroy it.  And then do cake.  Typical party.  :)  Family party is on Saturday.

Let's move on to quotes......

Passage 1

HFT
Holding on to anger, resentment, an a "poor me" attitude is not an option for me today. Growing up with two alcoholic parents created many painful memories. However, until I was able to let go of my past by forgiving my parents, I was unable to enjoy the present.
Among Al-Anon's many healing tools, I found learning about alcoholism as a disease and how it affects families to be particularly helpful. It enabled me to see my parents in a different light. Today I know they were unwilling victims of the disease of alcoholism. I have no doubt that had they been given a choice, neither of my parents would have picked up that first drink and continued on such destructive paths. I saw them try to fight the disease in countless ways as I grew up -- making promises, going through rehabilitation, etc. -- but the disease won. My parents suffered, and my siblings and I shared the outcomes of their suffering as a result. In the battle with alcoholism, no one wins, not even those who seem to be "perpetrators."
Today I know in my heart that my parents were the best mother and father they could be, considering what they went through. As I imagine what they must have endured, I have gained empathy for their struggle. I have envisioned walking a mile in my parents' shoes, and I now have nothing but compassion for both of them. I am grateful to Al-Anon for helping me fully forgive my parents, and for helping me accept and enjoy them for who they are.
Thought for the Day
Remembering that alcoholism is a disease helps me see the person struggling beneath the burden of illness. 
"With the help of friends in Al-Anon, I could see my parents as . . . two people gravely affected by a disease." From Survival to Recovery, p. 170

**I wasn't sure whether to post this one today.  My parents are not alcoholics (although a case could be made for my dad - functional alcoholic/moderate)......... but, there was a lot of dysfunction.  My mom and hubby are the two people I am resentful towards (at times).  I've grown leaps and bounds at releasing that resentment.  I first released it with hubby and am now working on it with my mom.  The reason why this passage spoke to me is that my parents had their own problems.  They were doing the best they could at the time.  For sweet little impressionable children to be mistreated is a heartbreaking thing and to think about how I was molded to d be dysfunctional, it is quite sad.  But....... it is my life.  It was in the past.  My parents still do not choose to "get better."  But,..... that is their decision, their journey.  I get to control ME, not them.  When I learn about boundaries, I realize it is their choice whether to get better.  I also know that if I can lovingly detach, I can be the kind and loving daughter I want to be and provide unconditional love (despite their issues).  Anyways, I can see myself chipping away at this resentment and these posts on parents are especially helpful.  Despite the person who wrote the passage having a very different experience than me, I find the passage relateable and helpful!

Passage 2
"We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings." The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
**Let it begin with me.  It is absolutely life changing how one person's change can affect the entire relationship.  And if it doesn't affect the entire relationship, it at least changes the person doing it.  (that was a bit of a tongue tie).  I chose to communicate kindly and respectfully.

THINK

Is it Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind?

Even if the other person doesn't respond, I am being kind and wise.  That is worth so much!


Gratitude List
1) Grateful for my sweet new clients (and the money they bring in)
2) Grateful for my expertise in my field
3) Grateful for al anon literature being ONLINE
4) Grateful for my new schedule working out.
5) Grateful for vaccinations.

1 comments:

  1. Although I have felt a lot of anger toward my family of origin, I've also felt compassion for them, knowing they too are the products of their families of origin. I hope the party went well!

    ReplyDelete