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Friday, August 12, 2016
What will today hold for me?  L's first dentist appointment, my sister coming to visit, street fair, theater tickets.  So many wonderful things.  I write often on how no day is guaranteed.  Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.  That's why we call today the present.  It is a gift!

I was so proud of myself last night.  Hubby was playing music that triggered me last night.  I quickly made a decision to remove myself from that trigger (if that's the correct name for it).  I went outside and enjoyed that lovely mountain view.  I paid attention to my five senses, watched neighbors walking their dogs and playing with their kids and I calmed extremely quickly.   I used my acronym THINK to choose my words carefully and kindly.  And I didn't jump ahead to the future, assuming one instance would result in ____, ____ and _____.  Hubby went to give me a kiss before his run and I didn't feel like kissing him.  He asked me, "are you refusing to kiss me?" after I moved away.  I used a J technique (she describes events all the time) and I said, "You went to kiss me and I moved away.  Have a great run!"  Then I returned to the home and went to sleep early (just what I needed).  I didn't try to control O and I didn't use any dramatics.  I just took care of me.  And a brand new day.  In fact, it's time for me to throw the kids in the car (probably in their pjs) and drive to the dentist.  I was thinking L's appt this morning was 8:15am and just realized it was 8am.  Yikes!   Ok. need. to. be. in. car. now.  

A particular incident reminds me of the sense of surrender that I feel when I truly take the Third Step and turn my will and my life over to God's care. Some years ago my sister discovered that she had a brain tumor. Her initial diagnosis was dire -- also, fortunately, inaccurate. When I heard about my sister's choices for treatment, I felt that she should pursue certain avenues that she had ruled out. I grew increasingly impatient with her choices until I read a contemporary by a person I respect, suggesting that the avenues I had been championing could do more harm than good.
That's when I realized the limits of my own understanding. I saw that my sense of urgency stemmed not from certainty but from fear. I discovered that my only honest course of action was to turn my fear and my love over to the care of my Higher Power. I could no longer pretend to know what was best.
Today's Reminder
I am not a rocket scientist, a philosopher, or a wizard. Even if I were all three, I would still find myself looking off the edge of my understanding into a vast unknown. As I recognize my own limitations, I am more grateful than ever for a Higher Power who is free from such restrictions.
". . . time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain, therefore, awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters." Plato

Gratitude List
1. my sister
2. health, health, health
3. health insurance
4. the Olympics
5. Jack Johnson's music 

Slogan for today: HOW - Honest Open Willing, THINK - Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, Kind