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Sunday, August 14, 2016
Writing at night feels much different.  The girls are in bed, hubby is in bed.  I'm the only one up, aside from my white fluffy cat, Snowball.  I'm on the green couch, yet the curtains are drawn.  The hum of the AC is loud and overpowers lesser sounds.  I am tired and am laying my head down on the cushion, as I write.  

Today was a lovely day and a long day.  We tried a new church this morning.  It feels as if it were a long time ago.  It was a positive experience and I look forward to returning.  The message was part of a series on decision making.  The sermon centered on making decisions politically.  The moral was to put God first and love your neighbor as yourself.  To vote proudly and as part of your civic duty, but to keep your perspective clear.  It was a good message, emphasizing, as stated, love.  

I contacted a leader of a local life group, women in my age range struggling with perfectionism and shame.  It sounded perfect for me!  

In other news, I'm a little less excited about my business venture as I was initially.  I do think it is promising, but it is also scary.  As I identify my fears through the day, I've been using my FEAR acronym to help (False Evidence Appearing Real).  It really does help.  

Tomorrow is Monday and I love Mondays.  The start to a fresh week.  Tomorrow we have OT Gym and pool.  I have a pretty busy afternoon for work, as I'm meeting with parents of new clients.  I am actually a bit tired thinking of it, as I won't be home until 9 at night.  Those are long days for me, but it should be filled with positive things.

Quote for Today #1
Since coming to Al-Anon, I have become aware of certain choices that I never knew I had. If I am uncomfortable about doing something, I have learned that I don't necessarily have to do it. I can look into my heart and try to discover my true feelings before making that decision. What freedom!
Does this mean that I should never do anything unless I feel comfortable doing it? Of course not. If I waited for inspiration, my taxes might never be paid, my work might not get done, and my teeth might not get brushed. Sometimes I have to feel the feelings and then act anyway.
I believe that is why our just for today suggests doing two things each day that I don't want to do, just for practice. To create a balanced life, I must exercise some self-discipline. That way I can pay attention to my feelings without being tyrannized by them.
Today's Reminder
Today I will do something that is good for me even if it feels uncomfortable.
"Self-discipline is self-caring." M. Scott Peck

Quote for Today #2
Before Al-Anon I sometimes made choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions such as confusion, anger, and fear, none of which are good foundations for decision-making. I was reacting, and my life felt completely unmanageable.
Al-Anon showed me how to respond appropriately to my emotions. In terms of reacting, I learned to deal with my feelings first so that I could clearly consider the facts of a situation. Now when I experience intense emotions, I call my sponsor to talk out the problem and to defuse my feelings. Sometimes I write in my journal or do something physical, like swimming. Prayer and meditation also help me calm down and get perspective. When I want to take drastic action, I ask myself, "How important is it?" Is my proposed behavior proportionate to the aggravation? Often it's not. Each of these tools helps me gain space and time to untangle the threads of intellect and emotion. Then I can act rather than react.
It helps to keep in mind that getting better doesn't always mean feeling better. When I need to walk through pain to let it go, I remember "This Too Shall Pass." I tell myself that just as thinking doesn't make it so, neither does feeling make it so. My life is going to work out according to God's will regardless of how I feel, so why try to manipulate situations to avoid the unavoidable -- human emotions? Such behavior only creates more pain, and I certainly don't want more of that!
Thought for the Day
Am I working with my feelings or allowing them to work against me?
"The true nature of my problem was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go." Courage to Change, p. 249

Gratitude List
1) Green grass
2) Knowledge
3) Diving boards and knowing how to swim
4) Love, love, love
5) My cutie pies L and J

1 comments:

  1. I love "self-discipline is self-caring" and the whole second quote! Thanks for sharing the wisdom you find!

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