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Sunday, August 14, 2016
YESTERDAY's POST - didn't quite finish

A fantastic wonderful date with my big sister last night.  We went to the farmer's market and then theater.  Oooh, I love the theater.  

The play we saw was called "Grey Gardens" and based on the documentary of an elderly mother and daughter who lived in an East Hampton mansion.  Mother was a narcissist.  Daughter was codependent.  Boundaries were a mess.  They were distant relatives of Jackie Bouvier and were socialites in their prime and daughter was a renowned beauty, possibly engaged to Joe Kennedy and having dated Howard Hughes.  They ended up living in a condemned mansion, with hundreds of cats, fleas, raccoons, walls falling down and plants growing up around the ends.  When the mother died, the daughter sold the house, performed cabaret for a short time in New York (in her 60s), and moved to Florida to die in her mid 80s.  So much eccentricity!

Anyways, had my sister and I in deep reflection.  I am so grateful for her.  She is such a wise and kind woman.  A very giving person and a great example.  I am extremely grateful for her!  

Anyways, a lot to think about in terms of raising my little girls.  

I am still rocked by my encounter with the "cool" mom at the pool on Thursday.  I think I ran out of time to write about that yesterday.  Pretty much I ran into a mom that I think is "cool" and it made me feel horrible about myself (despite the fact that she genuinely just wants a friend and is a real person!!)  Anyways........... it shined a light on how much I emphasize looks and finances when considering my self worth.  Awareness. Acceptance. Action.  I'm at awareness right now.  I'm so glad that I am aware so that I can work on changing this for me and my sweet children.  Shame on me for thinking someone is more worthy or "cool" because they look that way.  Take that back.  No shame.  There is no reason to shame myself.  I learned this way because my mom did her best with what was given with her and we are in a society that glorifies money and looks.  Now, how to change this for the better for my sweet children?  Here comes a slogan..... "let it begin with me."

Quote/Thought For Today
When I rely on self-will, I severely limit all of my resources. When I turn to my Higher Power, those limitations fall away.
"We become capable of directing our destiny by surrendering to a will other than our own." Forum Favorites, Volume 3, p. 40