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Thursday, September 22, 2016
 Passage 1
Talking openly and honestly with my family members is difficult and at times downright painful. Saying to people I love that I'm no longer willing to be around their intense negative energy is a frightening experience. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior.
I'm aware that I still want the people I love to change and mature, so I can be more comfortable. I am also aware that this may or may not happen. Today it's okay for me to want this to happen. However, I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs.
Thought for the Day
With the help of Al-Anon, I can accept people as they are and find serenity, even if I'm the only one who changes.
"We need to recover, and, when we do, we sometimes find that others are motivated to get better, too." Does She Drink Too much?, p. 4

**Just what I needed for today!!  Last night was unfortunately a rough night for me.  Hubby drank and I didn't know what to do.  He was beginning to harass us, so I left with the girls pretty quickly.  I left the house and drove around for hours because I didn't want to go home, didn't want to drive to my moms and didn't want to go to a hotel.  I called people and before the kids fell asleep, had fun with them.  Apparently our little downtown is alive on a Wednesday night.  Live music, people getting ice cream.  How fun!  Anyways, I didn't know what I wanted to do.  I ended up feeling comfortable enough to come back around midnight and go to sleep at home.  Hubby woke up and was acting sane and normal.  All that energy exerted on my part and he just wakes up and is back.  This first paragraph REALLY resonated with me.

"I'm no longer willing to be around your intense negative energy."  And unfortunately, right now, this applies to, "especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior."  It's been about a year since I had to do this.  A little less than a year, but I seem to have to learn the same lessons all over again. 

I am a work in progress and that's ok!  I can't be hard on myself for not always being in recovery mode or really survival mode.  I wasn't prepared and that's ok.

Passage 2
When I concentrate on little things that annoy me, and they sprout resentments that grow bigger and bigger, I seem to forget how I could be "stretching" my world and broadening my perspective. That's the way to shrink troubles down to their real size.
Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way?
When something or somebody is giving me trouble, let me see the incident in relation to the rest of my life, especially the part that is good, and for which I should be grateful. A wider view of my circumstances will make me better able to deal with all difficulties, big and little.

Today's Reminder
I refuse to let my serenity be drowned out by happenings that are in themselves unimportant. I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me but, worse, it would hurt me.
"Why do we accept things that trouble us, when we could do something about them?"

Passage 3
The Fifth Step ("Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs") is a very intimate experience in which we share our private thoughts and experiences with another person. Much has been said about the freedom this Step offers to the person who is doing the talking, but it can be extremely rewarding to the listener as well.
Most of us feel deeply honored to be entrusted to share in such a sensitive and personal experience. It’s a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening. Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come. We also see that, despite our outward differences, we have a great deal in common with others.
Whether we practice this Step by listening or speaking, we open ourselves as channels for our Higher Power. More often than not, we hear something that sheds light on our own situation.
Today's Reminder
When I respond to a request for help with working the Al-Anon program, I help myself as well.
"There is no better way to keep our spiritual benefits than by giving them away with love, free of expectations, and with no strings attached.
" . . . In All Our Affairs

** I belong to a group of old timers.  I'm probably the only regular under the age of 50.  Yes.... 50!!  Recently we have some new young members and it is a joy to be the face of the program.  They are so brave for entering program and this may just be the group for them!  I have gotten to practice giving of myself again and it is absolutely lovely.  


  1. I like that line too: "I'm no longer willing to be around your intense negative energy." Sorry about hubby. Glad you're not being hard on yourself! It's impossible to be in recovery mode 24/7.