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Thursday, September 1, 2016
I've been doing my A-Z Gratitude List to go to bed each night and I love it!  Right now, J is sticking stickers all over our sight word wall and I just can't but love it!  So grateful for the stickers, for the wall and for the sweet soul decorating it.  And yah - I really don't care if we have stickers all over our wall.  At all!

Balancing "me" time with homeschool time and sleep time and new business time is a tricky endeavor.  I think I'm going to try to do some yoga while they kids play at the park today.  I am more likely to be successful at this if noone else is there, haha.  I am also so grateful for learning the name of this tree that lines the streets around me.  I've always advocated a strong nature curriculum.  I feel connection to nature is so important to mental and spiritual health and we learn and can name about what is important to us.  Names of plants and trees are also used often in descriptive writing and I just couldn't visualize a type of tree/plant I didn't know the name to (and rarely looked it up).  We've been calling it the "star leaf" tree.  It's called an American Sweetgum tree.  We also have learned to recognize Jacaranda trees and Magnolia trees and, for the kids, bamboo, cactus and elephant foot trees.  Although elephant foot trees and pony tail palms look the same to me.  I need to google that.  That's another issue.  (ok, I just googled it and they are the same plant).  

Ok, on to passages.  

I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was looking for someone who would always be there for me but would not impose on me very much. Looking back, it's almost as if I were looking for a pet rather than a human being. Naturally, this outlook put a strain on my relationships.
In Al-Anon I have learned there is a difference between what I expect and what I need. No one person can be all things to me. 

Once again I'm faced with examining my own attitudes. What do I expect, and is that expectation realistic? Do I respect other people's individuality -- or only the parts that suit my fancy? Do I appreciate what I do receive?

Today's Reminder 
Trying to change other people is futile, foolish, and certainly not loving. Today, instead of assuming that they are the problem, I can look at myself to see what needs changing within. 
"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image." Thomas Merton

**This exact quote by Thomas Merton is one I wrote out several months ago....  maybe in February.  I kept it out at my office and in my car awhile back. It really resonated with me.  I sent it to my sister too.  This whole passage was very difficult for me to read.  Lots of reality here.  THIS is my sickness.  My codependency, my disease.  Hubby and I talk about it now as my problem (along with food addiction).  Before, I was the "together" one, and he was the one with the problems.  I knew I had my own things to work on.  The first time I tried couple counseling, I told the person that I know that hubby's problems may sound like more "big ticket" problems, but I have problems that are just less obvious.  I said this, but I didn't realize how unhealthy I was.  I had no clue.  This is a problem of great severity.  It's really not knowing how to love in a romantic relationship.  

Passage 2
"It's a nice day," people say when the weather's fine. One of the things we learn in Al-Anon is that the kind of a day it is does not depend on the weather, but on our attitudes and reactions to what's happening. We can make every day a nice day. 

Today's Reminder
I will not expect too much; this will shield me from being annoyed at little things that don't go just the way I wanted them to. I will try to accomplish something specific, perhaps some chore I have long been putting off. 

"What a comfortable feeling it gives me to realize that all I have to deal with is just this one day. It makes everything so much easier!"


  1. That first passage is so overwhelming to me.

    I love nature too! I love going on walks and visiting the zoo, botanical gardens, natural landmarks, etc.

  2. Overwhelming is a good way to describe it for me, too. I actually had a lot more to write about it, but ran out of time and just decided to move forward. The wanting a "pet" part stung. It is harsh, but true.

  3. True for ME. I have no idea where you fall in that area. (just needed to make that 1000% clear.)