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Friday, October 28, 2016
What an interesting day today was.  So much to be grateful for.  Let's start with five.

1) Grateful for new friends
2) Grateful for my little L
3) Grateful for this adorable house
4) Grateful for a clean back yard
5) Grateful for a higher power being in control and one more....

6) Grateful for grace

Ok, let's do some passages......

There are times when the “poor me” mood is upon us; we’re overwhelmed by all the troubles we have to face. This is especially likely to happen when we have begun to try to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others. We may, at first, become too analytical and try to solve too much at once.

For this frame of mind there is an almost infallible prescription: to empty our minds of all thoughts but one: today and how to use it.

This day is mine. It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all my past experience and all my future potential. It belongs to me to do with whatever I like. I can fill it with joyous moments or ruin it with fruitless worry. If painful recollections of the past come into my mind, or frightening thoughts of the future, I will put them away. They cannot spoil today for me.

“Today is my special gift from God. How will I use it? The less I let others affect it, the more serene and satisfying it will be for me.”

**How inspiring!  "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, that's why they call today a present.  It is a gift, right?" The only thing I don't agree with is to put away painful recollections.  Sometimes the only way to do that is to acknowledge them.  Not to dwell in them, but acknowledge and accept.  I completely agree with the overall tone of this though. 

It’s amazing how my attitude toward others tends to return to me like a basketball rebounding off a backboard. My impatience with other people often generates even more impatience with myself and my world. When I am unkind to someone, I get defensive and expect others to be unkind to me. Likewise, when I accept someone unconditionally, I find that my whole world feels safer.
 So it’s in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out.

 If I am unhappy with what I receive, I might try looking for that same behavior in myself. It may not take exactly the same form, but I find that whatever I dislike in another is something that I dislike in myself. The reverse is also true: What I admire in others probably reflects an admirable quality within me.

Today’s Reminder
There is something for me to learn from every interaction I have with other people. I will make an extra effort today to take note of the attitudes I’m giving and receiving because they both can teach me about myself.

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.“ Ralph Waldo Emerson

**"What I admire in others probably reflects an admirable quality within me."  I had not thought of that before and appreciate that viewpoint.

I got caught up on "accept someone unconditionally."  How exactly does that work in a marriage to someone who is unhealthy.  I think it means that I accept them whether or not they change as being their own entity and then make my boundaries according to what I need.  It reminds me of that quote I always go back to about love.

""The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"  - Thomas Merton

Love and acceptance must go hand in hand.  I remember when I first started al anon, I told someone that I really need to relearn what love looks like.  Well, a year and a half later and how far I have come!! 

One evening at my home meeting, a woman shared how she argues a lot with the alcoholic. I wasn’t listening too attentively, but then she mentioned the slogan “How Important Is It?” Her words struck me hard and called me to attention. I decided to experiment with that slogan, applying it to my own situation.

The first time I tried it, it was a real eye-opener. My alcoholic husband had arrived home late, and I was ready to begin the drill, asking every conceivable question I knew I should not ask. To keep myself from doing so, I said the Serenity Prayer over and over and then asked myself, “How important is it?” a feeling of relief flowed into me as I answered myself, “It’s not important enough for me to become the police!”

My husband knows me well and was prepared to walk into the house and be barraged with queries. I could see the muscles tighten in his neck as he stepped in and waited. All I said with, “Hello.” He relaxed visibly, and we passed the rest of the evening together with serenity and even a little fun.
Since that evening, I’ve applied this slogan to many of my affairs. I’ve learned that if an issue isn’t going to be important in 30 days, then it’s probably not worth troubling myself with now. Today there aren’t many things happening in my life with such lasting effect that I have to make an issue of them.

Thought for the Day
How easily do I give away my serenity? “The perspective we gain when we apply this slogan makes it possible to set aside petty worries, minor irritations, and baseless judgements so that we might celebrate the extraordinary richness and wonder that life offers.” How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, p.72



  1. Passage 2 made me think of parenthood and how my kids reflect the good and bad from me. I too struggle with unconditional acceptance. It's a hard one to understand. I loved this line: "How easily do I give away my serenity?"