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Sunday, November 20, 2016
I am up writing this after 10pm at night and tomorrow morning, I will likely be slow to wake. I think that is ok.  I am not sure what it was that made me delay writing this today, but this evening has been a bit magical.

The kids go to sleep at 6pm.  Hubby went to bed around 8pm.  And I have had all this time.  All this time to read and clean and just be by myself.  It's been lovely.

Here are some things I am grateful for tonight........

- Church.  I didn't feel like going this morning, but it was extremely powerful.  The worship was powerful, as was the message.  The speaker runs a hospice facility in Kenya (the only one which cares for children).  Our church supports her endeavor financially.  She left from our church 12 years ago and is probably 5-10 years older than me.  The pastor, his kids and wife also flew out to give an update.  Her message was, "Do not be afraid.  Nothing is impossible with God." Step 2. (Did I mention, that since I'm in recovery, I translate every message from church into a step.  Yup.) 

I won't tell her whole story, but she adopted a precious little orphan baby whose parents had died and just recently found out he has Sickle Cell Anemia.  In Kenya, that means only a 10% chance of reaching adulthood.  At the very end of her sermon, her brother came up and they sang the song, Sovereign Over Us by Northpark, in duet. 

Lyrics started like this...

There is strength within the sorrow
There is Beauty in our tears

And you meet us in our mourning
with a love that cast out fear.
You are working in our waiting
Sanctifying us
And beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust.
Another quote I really loved.  I didn't jot down who she quoted, unfortunately and google isn't bringing it up.  But... "Mourning and dancing don't always take turns."

I loved that. 

Another thing I'm grateful for..............

- Books.  I recently finished a book about the Tarahumara, who Hubby might actually be related to, called Born to Run..... fantastic!  And am now reading a wonderful book that meshes my appreciation for nature/gardening and love of self discovery.  Really enjoying it!

And another.......

- After spending a lot of time fixing up my house, I feel great about it.  A new babysitter came in the other day and said, "I love your house!"  And I actually agreed with her.  We have a room that we painted with chalkboard paint.  Our blue living room walls are decorated with Julianne's artwork and our new gratitude tree.  The rooms are sparse, but well loved.  And we have an outdoor dining room.  It is far from decorated well or fancy, but it feels like us.  And it is clean and orderly enough (we still have clutter).  But, I'm so grateful that after making some improvements, I didn't immediately want more.  I just felt satisfied.  Which is nice. 

There are many more things, but I want to stop here and do the passages....

PASSAGE 1 - honesty
Sometimes an alarm clock can be so welcome. Other times it is nothing but a disturbance. When I have a special visit planned and must catch an early plane, I'm thankful the alarm went off and I heard it. On other days when I'd rather not go to work, that same alarm is an unwelcome intrusion. It disturbs me when I would prefer to stay comfortable in bed.

Truth, like an alarm clock, can be comforting or disturbing. Sometimes I feel grateful to hear someone speak a comforting truth. On the other hand, there have been times when I felt intimidated to be honest. What about those times when I heard the truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset?

When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone. The truth merely provides me with an opportunity for growth. The rest is up to me.

Thought for the Day!
How do I respond when the bell of truth rings? Do I face the discomfort so I may embrace the growth?

"With the Twelve Steps, I've learned to face the truth, the whole truth..."
** Yes, I can relate to this.  Sometimes a conversation where truth is told, doesn't make sense to me until days later.  My being open, honest and willing, makes it an opportunity for growth.  Even if I get mad at the person who saw that truth in me, I am very grateful that many times I have gone back to analyze what I heard and why it upset me so.  There are a couple times I am thinking of, where this was the case. 

Although there are many ways to tame a horse, there is general agreement on one point: The important thing is not to break the horse’s spirit. Colts, puppies, and little children are full of boundless joy in being alive. What had happened to my joy? Alcoholism, which has touched every generation of my family, had broken my spirit.

Al-Anon gives me a fellowship, a Sponsor, and Twelve Steps and Traditions that allow me to heal my broken spirit. My healing started when I quit fighting the God of other people’s understanding and found a God who honored the long-forgotten spirit in me. That’s the God who can restore me to my true self.

Today I make a sincere effort to roll in the clover, kick up my heels, and celebrate being alive. It is one way in which I touch my God.

Today’s Reminder
Let me make this day a celebration of the spirit. There is a part of me that retains a childlike sense of curiosity, wonder, enthusiasm, and delight. I may have lost touch with it, but I know it still exists. I will set my problems to the side for a little while and appreciate what it means to be vitally alive.

“Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.“ George Bernard Shaw

**What an inspiring passage.

“Our group,” explains a member, “concentrates on the Twelve Steps. We rarely discuss the Traditions, because we feel that personal guidance for individuals is more helpful to us than pointers relating to the functioning of the group.” This is warped thinking, for the fact is that the Traditions are essential to the survival and proper functioning of the group through which each individual gets the desired help.

The Traditions tell us, for example, that the officers of a group are its leaders. Guided by the light of Tradition Two, they will not dominate or direct, a sometimes happens when a strong-willed opinionated member insists on holding office term after term, and makes decisions for the group.

“Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” They serve, but do not control. Al-Anon is a fellowship of equals, and each member should welcome an opportunity to serve. Who, then, provides the authority under which the groups function? Tradition Two says, “For our group purpose there is but one authority – a loving god as He may express Himself in our group conscience.”

“Everyone should realize that our reaching toward peace of mind depends very much on our attitudes within the Al-Anon group.”


  1. Your kids go to bed at 6? Wow. What time do they wake up? What time do you usually go to bed?

    I loved this line of the song: "You are working in our waiting, sanctifying us." I also loved that quote about mourning and dancing.

    Passage 1: Still so hard for me.

    Passage 2: I liked the part you highlighted about the God of our understanding. I'm still pondering over it.

    Passage 3: "Our leaders are but trusted servants." That's how we view our church leaders and how I believe God wants His leaders to be. He often referred to prophets and disciples as servants.