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Saturday, November 19, 2016
I don't really want to blog this morning.  I just don't feel like it.  But, I will.  I've been doing much better at just trusting that Hubby is working on his program and leaving it to higher power.   He's gone to a 6am meeting for a few days and he had told me he liked it.  I asked if it continued to live up to expectations and he said he was looking for a sponsor, but he thinks he wants this perfect sponsor and it just doesn't exist.

Ummm, I TOTALLY get this!    I was super excited that he divulged this to me.  And even with my imperfect sponsor, I think I'm making progress.  So, that's good news!

Ok, passages

PASSAGE 1 - First Things First
"During my first year in Al-Anon, I concentrated on changing my attitude toward the alcoholic. I learned to sidestep quarrels; I controlled my impulse to complain and scold. I worked hard on getting rid of my resentments. As our relationship improved, and he was in AA, I had less reason to feel sorry for myself. I thought I was working the program."

"But all was not well in the home. There was a constant undercurrent of minor irritations. I had gone overboard trying to distract my mind from concentrating on the alcoholic problem. Golf, bowling, bridge, reading and socializing didn't leave me enough time and thought for my children; my house was never in order; meals were a bother. I wasn't doing my job!"

Today's Reminder
"Suddenly I awoke to the fact that Al-Anon asks a lot more of us than just to cope with the problem of alcoholism. We need to apply it to all departments of living--and in the order of their importance."
"I prayed to remember to attend to first things first."

**I really like this one because it talks of the different steps of program.  And she thought she had it figured out (I could def see myself being there.)  I think if this person was using program tools and TRYING to work her program, she was in fact working her program.  Progress, not perfection, right?  She just got better at it, IMO.  And could look back and see different stages.  When we approach a new way of living, it's so so natural not to even understand what that looks like and to take missteps - of course!  That's how we learn.  Anyways, I like this reminder, a lot.  And also prayer to differentiate what the first things are!!! 

For years I lamented the absence of a label that would identify the soul sickness that brought me to the fellowship. I wanted to say, "I'm a recovering controller, enabler, caretaker, fixer." Although they identify some of my character defects, these labels are missing the mark. I'm not simply seeking recovery from one limitation our problem. The goal I'm striving for an Al-Anon is an overall sense of wellness.

My pursuit of this goal began by seeking recovery from the way of loved one's alcoholism has affected my life. But today Al-Anon offers me even more. As I heal and grow, I find that it is no longer enough simply to survive. The principles and tools that brought me this far can help me to create an increasingly rich and fulfilling life.

Today, when I say I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon, I'm not zeroing in on one particular problem but rather participating in a whole host of solutions that can lead to emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

Today's Reminder
As I continue on the never-ending path of spiritual progress, I will expand my view of recovery.
"In Al-Anon we believe life is for growth, both mental and spiritual." The Twelve Steps and Traditions

PASSAGE 3 - parents
Several years ago I attended a workshop where the topic was the story of Lois W., one of Al-Anon's cofounders. I sat letting my thoughts ramble on about the inappropriate responses I sometimes have to situations. As usual I justified them by reminding myself that I learned these responses while growing up in an alcoholic environment. I was off in my own little world until I heard the words "smug" and "self-righteous." The presenter described how these character defects covered Lois's world in darkness where no light could show through. Just then I became aware that it didn't matter if I had alcoholic parents! I also had a program to improve myself, to recover.

 Finally I realized that I am not unique. I'm not the only person who struggles with the effects of alcoholism. Yes, I may have learned some of my character defects and my negative responses to life from my parents, but they're my defects now. My parents cannot do the recovering for me. It's up to me! No more blaming. It's time to get on with my life.
I reached a turning point when I realized who was hurting when I blamed my past instead of correcting my present.

Thought for the Day
Every defect I learned while growing up with alcoholism, I can unlearn. That's where Al-Anon comes in! 

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. No shaft of light can pierce the armor of self-righteousness.” The Al-Anon Family Groups--Classic Edition, p. 58

***Love this!!  Definitely can relate to it.  


  1. All great passages! The last one spoke to me the most. So relevant.