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Monday, November 28, 2016
We hear in Al-Anon that no situation is hopeless. At first we find this hard to believe. Hope and despair are human emotional attitudes; it is we who are hopeless, and not the condition of our lives. In a desperate situation, we give up hope because we are unable, as yet, to believe in the possibility of a change for the better.

Today's Reminder
If I have been relying on my judgment alone, and have tried to correct what is wrong by using the wrong tools, it's I have reason for despair. I will learn, in Al-Anon, to recognize my errors, to see the roadblocks of self-will and self-righteousness I have been putting in my way. Then I will no longer insist that a thing is impossible because I have been unable to accomplish it. Others have, and many of them had far greater problems than mine. Once I use the Al-Anon program's and let myself be guided by God's will instead of my own, my distorted outlook will be replaced by order and peace of mind.
". . . if thou canst believe; all things are possible to him that believeth." (Mark)

**"Hope and despair are human emotional attitudes."  Why?  Maybe to bring us closer to God? 

PASSAGE 2 - step 4
As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues--taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity--turned out to be the causes of my misery! And those traits I had always ignored--talent, optimism, self-discipline--turned out to be my truly positive qualities. It was as though, through the power of this Step, I have found a way to turn my upside-down personality right-side up.

I still struggle to keep it all from turning over once again. But when I see myself clearly, I have a sense of wholeness and a feeling of pride and peace. I can be happy to be myself now that I know who I am. 

Today's Reminder
My life is in a constant state of change. Awareness allows the keep pace with that change. Today let me listen to my words and watch my actions. Only by knowing the person I am can I create the person I want to become.
"Each man must look to himself to teach him the meaning of life. It is not something he discovered: it is something molded." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

PASSAGE 3 - parents, let it begin with me
My parents didn't know I was angry with them, because I was the "good" kid. I felt angry about the drinking and the constant chaos, but I never said anything. I swallowed my resentment, thinking either my needs would go away or my parents would change. Of course, neither happened.

In Al-Anon I learned about alcoholism as a family disease and the role I played. My destructive childhood experiences were not due solely to my parents' alcoholism. I played a part in it, too, and I lugged my childhood dredges into adulthood. I healed much of my pain through Al-Anon's Fourth and Fifth Steps by pouring out my frustration and rage to my sponsor. All I really needed was to be heard. Then I could let go of some ugly feelings.

To make amends to my parents in Step Nine, I decided to practice being a better daughter. For example, instead of expecting them to phone me, I started to call them regularly. At first the conversations were awkward. Mom would answer the phone, greet me, and quickly pass the phone to Dad. I knew my parents hadn't been able to provide consistency for me because no one had given it to them. I "Let It Begin with Me" by calling them but the same reliability I yearned for as a child. Now when I call home, Mom seems more comfortable talking with me. We enjoyed much longer conversations before she hands the phone to Dad. Sometimes she even asks for the phone back so we can talk more!

Thought for the Day
When I take my parents' inventory, I hold grudges and sink deeper into my disease. When I take my inventory and make amends, I grow, learn, and love more deeply.
"Let me remember that the reason for making amends is to free my own mind of uneasiness . . ."
Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics, p. 16

**Let it begin wtih me.  This will be my slogan this week.  And remembering that if I find myself taking someone else's inventory, I really need to be taking my own.  


  1. Wow, 3 powerful passages.

    1-I loved all of it, but this part stuck out me the most: "it is we who are hopeless, and not the condition of our lives." Also the idea about something not being impossible just because I can't do it, though I don't think it's impossible generally speaking, just impossible for me.

    2-"Many things I had once thought of as virtues...turned out to be the causes of my misery!" Amen. "I can be happy to be myself now that I know who I am." I look forward to that day. Still trying to figure out which personality traits and qualities come from the real me and which do not.

    3-I like that last thought for the day and quote. I too need to practice being a better daughter.