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Thursday, November 3, 2016
Passage 1 = loving detachment
Al-Anon, like other groupings of people, with a common interest or cause, has a language of its own – certain words and phrases which describe specific ideas. We may recognize them and use them without being quite clear as to their real meaning.

Take, for instance, the phrase: “Detach from the problem, but not from the person.” Some have actually imagined it means that Al-Anon advises against separation from the spouse. Others think it means shutting your mind and coldly ignoring everything that happens. Neither is true.
When we are urged to practice detachment, it never means disinterest. The latter would express 
only despair and hopelessness, while loving detachment gives us every hope of better days.

Of course I must be concerned with what happens to the people in my life. The purpose of emotional detachment is to keep myself form being drawn into crises of the alcoholic’s making. If I do not interfere, he will be compelled to find his own way out of his difficulties. This is the wholesome, helpful Al-Anon kind of detachment.

“Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needless pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship.”

**"If I do not interfere, he will compelled to find his own way out of his difficulties."  This is so true and true for my kids, as well, to a certain extent.  As Mama, there are times for me to swoop in and there are times for me to step out..... the crux of healthy boundaries.

Passage 2 - sponsorship
By the time we reach Al-Anon, many of us are starving to be heard. We bask in the discovery that the Al-Anon rooms are safe places in which we can talk about the things that have been pent up inside. We share, and the people around us nod with understanding. They talk with us after meetings and mention how much they identify, or they thank us for sharing. Finally we are heard and appreciated by others who have been there too.

This attention can feel so refreshing that we may be tempted to overdo it. Many of us fear to let go of this chance to speak openly, as if it were our last opportunity. But when any member regularly dominates the sharing at meetings, the group suffers.

In keeping with our Traditions, the well-being of the group must come first. That’s one reason sponsorship is such a valuable tool. Our needs for self-expression are real and should be addressed. A sponsor can give us the time and attention we need to talk about ourselves and our lives.

Today’s Reminder
My needs are important. Al-Anon helps me to find appropriate ways in which to meet them. I will take good care of myself today.

…Very personal details are better left to a sponsor who can lend a consistent ear, and keep a confidence – someone who knows all about you and accepts you as you are.“ Sponsorship — What it’s All About.

** Yes!  I read something about this awhile back and have thought a lot before my shares.  

Passage 3 - serenity
When I first came to Al-Anon, I wanted the "priceless gift of serenity," but I was convinced it couldn't exist. There were just too many balls to Juggle, too many people's lives tied to mine. I couldn't possibly keep everything in place to make everyone happy.

Al-Anon taught me that I was right to think I can't control all of those outside forces. The program also taught me that manipulating people and events to my liking is not the path to serenity. Serenity is a matter of inner stability. If I keep the focus on myself and let my Higher Power take care of the rest, everything seems to work out for the best. Things outside of myself still seem disordered at times, and people still act in ways I believe are destructive and harmful. However, Al-Anon gives me the tools to keep myself on course, so I can maintain my serenity no matter what winds are blowing or which waves are washing over me.
I stay on my Higher Power's course for me by reading AI-Anon literature daily, attending meetings weekly, talking with my sponsor regularly, and taking personal inventories frequently. These internal inspections remind me of my destination- serenity and a spiritual awakening-and allow me to adjust my path as needed. As I keep the focus on myself and my responsibilities, I feel serenity growing inside. It's a wonderful feeling to take care of myself lovingly and no longer to fear the turbulence that sometimes still swirls around me.

Thought for the Day
Staying focused on my journey of recovery, plus turning the outside world over to God, equals serenity.
"Recognizing that the world answers to its own Higher Power is inviting serenity's peace to embrace me," Alateen Talks Back on Serenity. p. 12

Gratitude List
1) My gratitude tree project (I'm having so much fun with it)
2) Our sweet babysitter
3) The chalkboard room
4) Work
5) My women's group
6) al anon
7) my hubby getting some help for himself 

Bible Quote for the day:

John 14:27New International Version (NIV)

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.


  1. I think passage 1 and 3 go together perfectly. I think if I practice passage 3 more, passage 1 will begin to make more sense to me.