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Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Quick Update - I'm doing good!  On the right track.  I need to get out of this sponsorship.  I spent a lot of time praying on it and evaluating it and am positive.  I think I knew from the second meeting we had, but I just wanted it to work out so badly.  Now just trying to figure out how to say no and get out of the relationship (good practice for me), as this is one of my HUGE weaknesses!

In one of the Al-Anon leaflets the following hard-to-believe statement is made: "A drinking problem in the home can often be more easily recognized by the wife's behavior than by that of the drinker."

Isn't this an inevitable consequence of our turbulent emotions, our despair and uncertainty? Isn't it proved by our futile efforts to outwit the alcoholic, to compel him to stop drinking and meet his responsibilities? This self-imposed struggle to control the uncontrollable is certainly not rational!
Once we experience the effects of applying the Al-Anon program, and observe the miraculous changes that take place in the attitudes of our Al-Anon friends, we can look back thankfully that we, too, are improving our relationship.

Today's Reminder
As I see the progress I have made, it becomes clear to me that many of my earlier habitual reactions needed to be transformed into normal mature behavior. The only possible way to improve the conditions of one's life is to improve one's emotional condition.
"Most of the things I did, in anger and frustration, only made matters worse. Now I am learning to let go."

PASSAGE 2 - step 1

Before Al-Anon, I believe that being an adult was to be in control--rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped.

Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had to go was a control over others--it simply doesn't work. Trying to be in control is an effective method of keeping loved ones at a distance. Instead, I admitted that I am powerless over others. Then I had to begin to put away the "lookin' good" facade in order to share my feelings at meetings. And one fine day I picked up the One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT) book and read the pages on "martyrdom." I became uncomfortably aware that my "do-gooder" role often masked a martyr.

Becoming more human has been difficult and frightening at times, but being more genuine allows me to have real relationships, real communication, and real happiness.

Today's Reminder
Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image. All I have to do is be me.
As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life.

 *LOVE THIS!!!!!!  Will be a favorite

PASSAGE 3 - parents
I was practically consumed with frustration and anger toward my mother when I first discovered Al-Anon. Although my father was the one who drank, screamed with rage, hit, and eventually abandoned me, I blamed my mother for not protecting me and for refusing to admit how harrowing my life had been.

In Al-Anon and through the love and patience of my sponsor, I found acceptance and understanding of my feelings. I was introduced to the idea of "Live and Let Live." Gradually I put aside my resentments by accepting my powerlessness over both the disease and my mother's reaction to it. As I continued my recovery, I discovered compassion for her and ended my struggle to force her to break her denial.

Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I needn't wait for someone to do it for me. I am no longer a victim of my emotions or of circumstances beyond my control. Instead, I am free to enjoy what I have received through this fellowship--serenity, courage, wisdom, and love.

Thought for the Day
Acceptance is a form of living and letting live that frees all concerned to follow their Higher Power's will.
"Acceptance is a challenging but rewarding spiritual discipline." From Survival to Recovery, p. 95


  1. I'm glad you've gotten an answer about your sponsorship. "Becoming more human has been difficult and frightening at times." Amen to that!