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Thursday, December 29, 2016
ODAT - denial, pride
"There are some things I absolutely refuse to accept," says a member at a meeting.
This is too often true of someone who suffers from inordinate pride or is unable to admit she is ever wrong.
Before I decide I cannot accept this or that, I had better examine my part in the deadlock. Were my expectations unreasonable? Did I demand too much? Am I being confronted with a natural reprisal for my rigid, uncompromising attitude?
If we have hurt someone or demanded too much of them, swift retribution may dismay or infuriate us. Shouldn't we search out the causes and do something to correct them?
Today's Reminder
I they feel ever so justified in "taking a stand" but let me consider whether it was something I did that led to the crisis. To remain unyielding may result in disaster I am still less prepared to accept!
"We are quick enough at perceiving and weighing what we suffer from others, but we mind not what others suffer from us." (Thomas A'Kempis)

**"inordinate pride"  - Yup!  That's me!  I think, for me, it has less (these days) about admitting that I am wrong and more about asking for help.  A lot of people have been offering help and I am very uncomfortable with it.  I'm also uncomfortable with relating to a lot of people at a vulnerable level.  My pride makes me feel ashamed that this has happened (gasp!) to me.  When, of course, I am not too good for bad decisions (or good ones that are ostracizing)

HFT - control
I've always had poor balance--unsteady, happy hiking downhill, unable to put my socks on while standing. Some time ago I watched a karate black-belt competition. Much of the fighter's attention was focused on how his foot was planted on the ground. Only partial attention went to the other, airborne foot. I decided to undertake developing some of the same partnership with gravity, to learn to center myself over my planted foot. In time I became much better at putting on my socks.
Recently while picking my way across wet rocks beside a favorite stream, I felt a strong connection with the earth, my balance was sure, my choice of foothold certain and carefree. I could turn my attention to the scampering squirrels and grazing deer. I realized that in the same way I am learning to walk within the inexorable pull of gravity, I am also learning to center myself in God's will by using the many tools of Al-Anon, I am releasing my need to control, and I am learning to find my balance despite the strong, often unexpected winds of change and desire.
Thought for the Day
Little by little, one day at a time, by accepting the things I cannot change and
changing the things I can, I will become more centered in God's gift of serenity.
"Al-Anon helps me to find some balance." Courage to Change, p. 54\

**I like how this person "changed the things she could" by just focusing on one simple thing (the ground planted down).  she also saw something she disliked about her abilities and took a little consistent action and was able to change it.  Wonderful!  It also got me excited thinking about karate (haha) and, for some reason yoga, too.

THEMES FOR TODAY: Act, don't React!  and "Let it begin with me"  

I'm starting off the day super strong, but yesterday I did this too and didn't last all day.  Halfway through, I was exhausted.  Reflecting (without judgement), I can see that a play date with family members rejuvenated me.  

Today, I have a walk planned for late morning and a play date with the same family member.  Then, my sister is visiting a little later (which sometimes gets me on track, sometimes not).  But, I do have planned a mystery shop by myself for afternoon, which should hopefully give me some "me" time.  It'll be my first kid free time since moving down here.  And I can listen to an al anon speaker on the trek.  And then, I'll try to do my check list, as well.  Wish me luck!   One day at a time.  I can do anything for 12 hours.