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Saturday, January 7, 2017
As I set out to rebuild a life, I need to focus on myself.  Hubbie has made it clear, at this point, that he thinks divorce may be a likely conclusion.  

And by refusing to acknowledge that this is a reality, I am holding myself in bondage.  I need to acknowledge this.  I reserved a lot of books at the library last night and downloaded free ones on my kindle unlimited.  I also found a fantastic resource called Divorce Care.  Once I am in a position to hire a babysitter on a regular basis, I hope to partake in their face to face support classes (which take place weekly at churches across the country and are both speaker and discussion).  In the  meantime, I've signed up for their emails.  This is only Day 2, but the value is incredible. 

This is an excerpt from the email.

The pain of divorce is much deeper and more soul wrenching than most people can imagine, unless they have been through it themselves. Divorce can mean the end of your hopes and dreams, the end of your life as you have known it, a loss of control, and feelings of rejection, loneliness, and blame. There is anger, depression, helplessness, bitterness, resentment, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt. The list goes on and on.

“I cry to you, O LORD; I say, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.’ Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me” (Psalm 142:5-6).
Lord and Savior, the intensity of my emotions is unbearable. Hold me in Your strong arms. Comfort me with the comfort that only comes from You, and guide me in taking one step forward each day. Amen.

I wanted to grow old together.  I set up my life with Hubbie and really thought we would.  I have to accept that divorce may be part of my story.  And that is ok.  That my kids may not grow up with their father and................. that is ok.  And the me who thought we would live happily ever after, didn't have the whole story, was very inexperienced and young and isn't me now.  The older wiser me knows that I am doing what I need to do in keeping acceptable standards, even if it's ripping me apart.

Another excerpt, this one from the Day 1 email of Divorce Care
You may wish you could get through the pain quicker, but healing is a process, a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process. In order to experience any level of recovery, you must see it through. There are no shortcuts. But take heart, in the coming days and weeks you will see it is possible to heal and to look to the future with hope.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Dear Lord, my life is ripped apart, and I can’t keep from focusing on the devastation and pain that seem to define my very being. Help me turn to You. No one else knows what I am going through. Amen.

Very grateful for this resource!  Love these quotes and then personal prayers.

Someone said something unkind about me. Are my feelings hurt? Yes. Should they be? No. How do I overcome my hurt? By detaching myself, "turning it off," until I can figure out what lies behind it. If it was retaliation for an unkindness I did, let me correct my fault. If not, I have no responsibility in the matter. Should I ignore or challenge? No, I will let it go; least said, soonest mended. Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained by anything that happens outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it.

Today's Reminder
Let me not take to myself, and suffer over, the actions and reactions of other people. Other adult human beings are not my responsibility, no matter how closely their lives may be intertwined with mine. I will not allow myself to be troubled by anyone else; my one problem is to improve my own way of living and looking at life.
"God teach me to detach my mind from what others say and do, except to draw helpful lessons and guidance from them.


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