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Wednesday, January 4, 2017
I am excited for today.  So so much to be grateful for today and we are going to the library (one of my favorite places every).  And it's a new one, so I get to be surprised about it.

Living in this home, is so interesting.  There are some moments where I feel like I should stay longer to save up money..........  Some moments, where I want to get out of here as fast as I possibly I can........ Some moments where I feel that I'm doing well............ some where I'm super hard on myself for not making more money already.

My mom's standards are different than mine.  This morning she really couldn't talk to me without criticizing me in some way.  I understand.... because I've had moments like that.  Where I find that it's hard for me to communicate with Hubby without doing one of the 4 M's.  MANY moments.  Being on the other side is so helpful.  I feel like my confidence is shrinking, though, despite knowing it is her issue.  I just can't do anything right.  Or, what I do right goes unnoticed, and all the things I did wrong are pointed out.  I just can't do everything right. And so, I get to listen to it and have those things pointed out to me.  What I am essentially being told is "YOU are not right.  YOU can't do things right. YOU are wrong."

Very powerful.  Anyways.............. I am in my mom's house.  So, there really is a right way and a wrong way for her.  And I need to respect that.  So, I feel entitled, as well.  I understand that I'm not paying rent and anyways, it's her property, etc.

This has definitely turned into a vent.  I tried to do some things "my" way yesterday to make it feel more like home and I think this is the back lash.

I wish I were a successful adult.  But............... alas.



When I first found Al-Anon I was desperate and lonely. I yearned for the serenity that others in the meeting so obviously possessed. When members shared about the tools that had worked for them, I paid close attention.
Here is what I heard: Go to meetings and share when you can; work all the Step, but not all at once--start with Step One; get a Sponsor; read some Al-Anon literature every day; use the phone to reach out between meetings. Gradually I took each of these suggestions and began to see real changes in my life. I began to believe my life could amount to more than a string of painful days to be survived. Now I had resources that help me to deal with even the most difficult situations. I came to see that with the help of my Higher Power, I could handle anything that came to pass and even grow as I did so. In time, the tools and principles of the program helped me gain the serenity I had long desired.
Today's Reminder
Al-Anon gives me the tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life.
"Daily vigilance will turn out to be a small price to pay for my peace of mind." The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage

I really liked this one.  One step at a time.  One day at a time.


  1. We went to a nearby library yesterday, and Gabe and I are going to reading time at our local library today. We love the library too! I really like that quote you highlighted.