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Monday, January 16, 2017
What are my goals?   What would change if I spent an hour on that goal every day?  30 minutes on that goal every day?  10 minutes on that goal every day?  Time is going to pass anyways.  The worst that can happen is that nothing changes.  But, at LEAST, I'm working on that goal.

I know a goal.  A great one.

It's not a business goal or a financial goal or the type of operational goal, I usually like to choose.  But, perhaps it is the type of goal which will make any other more possible to achieve.

I want to feel the Holy Spirit.  

What a goal, right?  And do I have control over that goal?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can dnot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I think I can change whether I'm listening....  and I think I can change, whether I'm studying.   And whether I'm trying to open myself up to that level of willingness and vulnerability.




ok.  phew.  It was chaos in my house while I was trying to write that.  Chaos!  Lots and lots of screaming as L approaches a year and a half.

Another thing.  I want to work my darn steps.  I want to be someone who is done with her steps.  Now, that doesn't mean I need to rush through them.  But, I'd like to be working on them each day, even 5 minutes a day.

I think I've worked step 1 into the ground, but we are starting at the beginning again.

On an aside, I think we all need ear plugs while L is in this stage.  I'm concerned about hearing loss for J (since they share a bed) and was researching for her.  Meanwhile, my ears feel like they've just had trauma done to them, so I think I'll get some for me, too.  This girl has some amazing lungs!  The volume is really incredible.  Anyways.......



I don't want to get stuck on doing the passages........ for example, doing them instead of other stuff, but I still get great value from reading them.  So, here we go.

ODAT
How can I make myself aware that my weak-kneed acceptance of an unacceptable situation is a reflection on my own self-respect? Am I a milksop, a slave, to be pushed around at the will of a sick personality? Is my long-suffering attitude going to achieve any good results? Or will it only reinforce the alcoholic in his belief that he can manipulate the situation to get his own way? Am I being fair to him in allowing him to outmaneuver me at every turn? Will he look for sobriety if I give him no compelling reason to do so--not only for his sake, but for my own?
Today's Reminder
I am an individual with the right to a good life. I must not look to anyone else to make a good life for me; this I must do for myself. Have I deceived myself into thinking that it is my lot to accept anything life chooses to hand out to me, however humiliating or degrading?
"I pray to learn the way to see myself as a child of God, bearing in my heart and mind the dignity and grace He has conferred upon every one of His children. Let me learn to live up to this picture of perfection-a little at a time, but always going forward."

I love that last hilighted part.  "I Must not look to anyone else to make a good life for me; this I must do for myself."  Living up to perfection, oooooh, dangerous for me.  I think I will live up to perfection by being ok with not being perfect (if that makes sense).



CTC
There was a time when, if a thought entered my mind, it automatically came out of my mouth. Even if I wasn't sure that what I was saying was true, the words poured out of me. In Al-Anon I have learned to "Think" before I speak.
When I'm tempted to respond to angry accusations with accusations of my own, I stop and "Think". When I have an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip, or to tell something extremely personal to a total stranger, I stop and "Think". And when my opinion about another person's business has not been requested, I take the time to "Think" before I get involved. That way I make a conscious choice about how I will respond.
Perhaps I will decide to say nothing, or choose a more tactful way to proceed, or question whether I really mean what I have been thinking. I may decide that this is not an appropriate place to discuss what is on my mind. Or I may choose to go right ahead and speak up in a very direct manner. Regardless of which option I select, today I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions because I have taken the time to make a choice.
Today's Reminder
Today I will let my words serve my best interests. I will choose them with care.
"I don't let my mouth say nothin' my head can't stand." Louis Armstrong

I love this!  It helps greatly with my desire to only "tell my own story."  It's funny because when I read the first paragraph, I thought, "Oh, well, I don't need to work on that much."  Because, I've improved so dramatically when in anger.  Then, I read the second paragraph and just hilighted away.  Most certainly an area that needs improvement.  



HFT
During my early Al-Anon days, I had trouble understanding humility and how to develop it. I related to the concept of being teachable, however, and began to look at what I could change about myself to become more open and willing to learn.
When I begin to think that I know it all or that perhaps it’s all right to skip some meetings, I’m in dangerous territory. Being teachable means I go to meetings and really listen to everyone, newcomers and long-time members alike. It also means I listen when I talk with my sponsor or another program friend. Sometimes I’ll hear suggestions and think, “No, that doesn’t apply to me.” When this happens, I need to open my mind and remain receptive to what I hear. The Al-Anon program works to the extent that I am open, honest, and willing, each of which is an important component for a humble state of learning. Being teachable means I admit that I don’t know it all. Walking the path of self-improvement is a lifelong journey.
Thought for the Day
The more available I am to listen and learn, the more available I am to be healed by my Higher Power.
"Humility frees me from outside pressures and allows me to learn at any time from anyone or any experience.” Courage to Be Me, p. 137

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