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Friday, March 17, 2017
Loved the first session with J's play therapist.  Yesterday was a good "family" day.  The kids are old enough that I can bring them to the beach by myself, so I'm looking forward to that.

Something that was interesting was that I kept getting embarrassed by Hubby; which, cognitively, I know not to do.

ex: He was throwing J in the air at preschool instead of listening to the teacher.  I surprised myself.  He can throw the girl in the air if he wants to.  It doesn't reflect on me.

ex: He was singing to try to calm L down during storytime and I felt the need to ask him to be quiet.  Ummm, yes..... it's polite to be quiet at story time.  But, I'm not his mom.  Sigh.

Not too bad, though.  I'll give myself props for being aware and accepting.  I made amends to him for the second one.  I don't think he was aware of the first.

Next, let's get to some meditations.  I want to journal for myself, but I am extremely tired for it only being 9pm.  I want to do my meditations.  Apply to 3-5 jobs and then call it a night.

Passage 1
There was once an Al-Anon group that never had more than nine members, although there were four AA groups within a couple of miles!
All but three of the nine--the three who had started the group--changed very often. When they dropped out, the old-timers would shrug and say: "What can you do? They just don't realize how Al-Anon could help them."

At meetings there were usually plenty of horror stories about what the alcoholics said and did, and detailed descriptions of sufferings. It was all quite exciting, but nothing much happened to make the newcomers aware of the Al-Anon program and how they could apply it. Nobody kept in touch between meetings, excepting, of course, the three old-timers.
Al-Anon is a program of self-improvement. It is nourished by the friendship and concern of all the members for each other and from discussion, in depth, of Al-Anon principles in the Twelve Steps, the Twelve Traditions and the slogans.
"If my life is in chaos, I will look into myself for the cause and cure and use the Twelve Steps to improve my shortcomings. If our group is not a living, functioning unit, we will look for the cause and cure in our Twelve Traditions. "\

Passage 2
HFT - Let Go and Let God
I developed a distorted sense of responsibility while growing up. Al-Anon helped me see that I am responsible only for myself. This lesson became clear when I became group representative for my home meeting.
I thought that as group representative I always had to open the meeting place and set up the chairs, coffee, and literature. As controlling as I was, taking on responsibility came naturally.
It was rare for anyone else to take the key and opened the meeting place. Soon I developed resentment about all the work I was doing. After listening to my complaints, someone suggested I have my own key made and leave the group key for someone else. This way I could close up, but I wasn't obligated to open up for the next meeting.

I decided to test this idea. I asked for and received permission to copy the key. One night when no one had taken the extra key, the group sat outside in the blustery January wind. The next week they blamed me. I calmly told them this isn't my group, it's our group. According to Tradition Two, no one person should be the group authority. I wanted everyone to have the opportunity to grow.
Today our group is much healthier, and so am I. I now trust that a Higher Power is the ultimate group authority and that some groups may have to "hit bottom" before they can flourish. It's not my job to rescue my group any more than it is to save the alcoholic. I need only do my part.
Thought for the Day
Before anyone else can pick up the ball, I need to be willing to drop it.
"Part of extending a hand is eventually letting go and noticing that, when my job is done, there are more hands willing and able to carry on." When I Got Busy, I Got Better, p. 6

CTC - Self Care
No problem lasts forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of our lives it may seem, whatever we experience in this ever-changing life issue or to pass. Even pain.
Difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith, and our need for one another. All of our experiences can help us to grow.
But we may need patience. Some wounds cannot be healed quickly. They must be given time. In the meantime, we can appreciate the new capabilities we are developing, such as the capacity to mourn and the willingness to accept. Let us share our losses and triumphs with each other, for that is how we gather courage.
Today's Reminder
Remembering that this too shall pass can make it easier to get through a difficult day. I will be very gentle with myself during this time. Some extra loving care and attention to myself can make everything a little easier.
"'. . . I am equal to what life presents,' when I use the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the slogans, literature, sponsorship, conventions, and most importantly meetings." . . . In All Our Affairs


  1. I like that about dropping the ball so someone else can pick it up.