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Monday, June 5, 2017
Feeling like blogging this morning.  I blogged on my private blog a lot last night.  And I came to some old passages due to an eventful evening.  

If it brings me back to my daily meditations, i am grateful.  Here we go................

HFT - Step 2
If there was nothing else I could do, I always prayed: "Dear God, please make sure that is not true," or "Help me find my keys." I took care of the rest. I did not tax God unnecessarily because I was a capable person and I didn't think He could achieve anything better. The possibility He would spend time on my problems was unimaginable. I was convinced the answer would be, "You can do it yourself" or "It's your own fault, so accept the consequences."

After a few years in Al-Anon, I came to accept my powerlessness over the alcoholic in my life. However, because I could not bear the powerlessness for long, I sought help in the Second Step. At that point I became aware that I perceived God as a cold, merciless being who could not spare time to help anyone as useless as me.

I heard some members talk of God as gracious, loving, and supportive. Could this be true? The Third Step asked me to do something new – to hand over control of my will and my life, not knowing exactly who this God was or whether He would help me. At that time in my life, I was drowning in problems. I figured God couldn't slip up too much in just one day. I tried Step Three and turned myself over for the first 24 hours. I paid close attention to how I was feeling that evening. I felt good, so He got my will and my life 24 hours. Each new day I turn myself over to God's care because what He does is well done.

Thought for the Day
I need only turn myself over one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
"I began turning my life over five minutes at a time and watching God very carefully to see what happened." From Survival to Recovery, p. 34

I think some of the mindsets in the first paragraph fit mine implicitly.  I do believe that God is loving and powerful and so much better equipped than I to deal with anything.  And yet............... I am trying to dispel this "It's your own fault, so accept the consequences" idea.  I think I need to blatantly tell myself that is not true.

Hi!...........F.............  It's not your fault..............  You are giving yourself a bit too much power there.........  And even if it was.......... you can best accept your plight/consequences by giving your life to God (not running in shame.)  

So, maybe, "It doesn't matter if it's your fault.  It's your story and......... run to God."

Maybe, I need to work a bit on being concise.  I've never thought that before.  ;)   

Anyways, I love the idea of giving my life over to God for an operational amount of time.  1 minute, 5 minutes, etc.  

1 comments:

  1. I struggle with that same lie as well. I also like the idea of a few minutes at a time.

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